ПРИНЦИПЫ ОБЩЕНИЯ И ПОСТРОЕНИЯ ОТНОШЕНИЙ

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И так у нас есть три состояния эго — родитель, ребенок, взрослый

Опишем их:

Родитель: Характерные слова и выражения — Все знают что…; Ты не должен никогда…; Ты всегда должен…; Я не понимаю, как это допускают…и т.д. \Интонации — Обвинения, снисходительные, критические, пресекающие, повелительные, приказывающие \ Состояние — Надменное, сверхправильное, очень приличное \ Выражение лица — Нахмуренное, неудовлетворенно, обеспокоенное \ Позы — Руки в бока, указующий перст. Например, руководитель компании входит в эго-состояние Родителя и, по правилам принятой роли, обращается к своему подчиненному с указанием на совершенную им ошибку в работе. Следовательно, подчиненному ничего больше не остается, как взять на себя роль «ребенка», выслушать указания и приняться за решение возникших вопросов.

Взрослый: Характерные слова и выражения — Как? Что? Когда? Где? Почему? Вероятно; возможно. Логика. Обсуждение. Разговор. \Интонации — Связанные с реальностью \ Состояние — Внимательность, поиск информации\ Выражение лица — Открытые глаза, максимум внимания \ Позы — Наклон вперед к собеседнику, голова поворачивается вслед за ним Взрослый нацелен на взаимовыгодное сотрудничество, его общение информативно и в меру эмоционально, он тактичен и уважительно относится к окружающим. Взрослый уважает себя и не позволяет повелительных наклонений в свой адрес, не позволяет повышать голос и отчитывать себя. В случае конфликта старается вывести разговор на предметный уровень и разобраться в причинах. Взрослый может легко выступать в роли родителя, но не делает этого, понимая, что это может спровоцировать конфликт, потому, что никому не нравится когда ему указывают, что делать или отчитывают его.

Ребенок: Характерные слова и выражения — Я сердит на тебя! Вот здоров! Отлично! Отвратительно!\Интонации — Очень эмоционально\ Состояние — Неуклюжее, игривое, подавленное, угнетенное\ Выражение лица – Угнетенность, удивление, виноватое\ Позы — Спонтанная подвижность (сжимают кулаки, ходят, дергают пуговицу) Ребенок действует исходя из желания я хочу, не задумываясь о последствиях. Ребенок чрезмерно эмоционален. Он обижается или безмерно восхищается, склонен преувеличивать и недооценивать, позы могут не соответствовать мимике и событию. Ребенок вынужден подчиняться взрослому и слушать его указания, готов мириться с наказаниями за провинность. Ребенок в роли родителя или начальника может требовать не выполнимого, не желая погружаться в детали, ему важен результат потому, что он так хочет. Ребенок креативен и игрив, обладает творческим взглядом на мир. Склонен манипулировать и просить помощи и защиты, даже когда этого не требуется.

Когда собеседник принимает навязанную ему роль, контакт проходит благополучно.

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